Rich Climbing: Kraking the Code

Some may consider it rude. Or even arrogant. As if a rite of passage was circumvented, an unwritten yet known climbing etiquette breached. I would disagree, so let me elaborate.

Groot Krakadouw is a wild, convoluted place. I have made two attempts to climb at this magical haven, but the purveyors of wet and icy meteorological phenomena scuppered these plans. Finally, in December 2014, I returned to blue skies and reclusive wind. Now, the expected norm when popping the venue cherry is to first despatch the super-uber classics. It wears the robes of both an ethical code and a ritual. While encouraging the highest return on investment, it also appears to pay some kind of homage to those who forged the great lines. The routes themselves may well have been the catalyst for the pilgrimage. Fair enough. However, I do contest that there is not merit in alternatives.

Douw, Nadia, the Author and Caroline: ready to rock. Photo: Douw Steyn.

In our context, The List whispered down through the Ceder grooves, spreading to camp fires and stitched into the fabric of cyber space would certainly include Coming of Age (21), King Kong (21) and Icthyosaurus (21). These being the prime journeys at each of the three main sectors: Southern-, Main- and Subsidiary Amphitheatres. The monopoly of the twenty first grade could be disrupted by replacing the colossal gorilla with Australopithecus (23). By comparison, the first 3 routes I climbed were Velociraptor (25), Ammonite (23) and Staggersaurus (24). You are unlikely to find route descriptions for these, as I haven’t typed them up yet. On the off chance you could decipher my hand scrawled hieroglyphics, then I would ask how the hell you came across my notebook. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t find it for a week…

Eyeing out the Staggersaurus arete. Photo: Douw Steyn

Douw on the first pitch of the steep Velociraptor.

Back on track, it is undeniable that I have an overt attraction to the virgin spaces of any cliff. The unknown excites me. Menu items in a seductive, foreign tongue. However, it must look like it will of good, preferably outstanding quality. To purposefully start up something unclimbed, that has the clear markings of choss, is plain silly. Well, I think so, and this is my article, so it has been decreed silly. This foolishness escalates if there are great outings nearby that you have not yet done. Fortunately for us Saffers, we have MFTs* of outstanding stone that has never been chalked. So now the scale tips doesn’t it? When the quality is comparable, the uncharted wins for me. Afterwards, it just feels better. It’s the mysterious gift rather than a cheque for an equivalent amount. The satisfaction balloon is that much more voluminous. Where homemade- and restaurant pizza are not discernible by taste, the one from your own kitchen is just more pleasing. Besides, the classics aren’t going anywhere and I will certainly be back.

Quality control 1: Staggersaurus top pitch

Quality Control 2: Velociraptor crux pitch. Photo: Douw Steyn.

Should you not be convinced, chivalry also comes somewhat serendipitously to our defence. The night before, Douw and I had actually planned to climb Coming of Age, and then check out something he had spied years ago. Visitors Caroline and Nadia joined as, and being the fine gentlemen we are, we insisted they cast off ahead of us. To obey the mantra of “mega-classics first” we could have sat and shot the breeze until the first pitch was availed of the enthusiast foreigners, but that would have meant resisting the pull of the awesome steep crack line that become Velociraptor. And really, you must ask, why resist? If a hypothetical God of climbing decreed that one should not fall into temptation, it would be a disastrous business model. Any followers would have missed a principle joy in playing on rocks. Our choices at the crag are highly dependent on temptation, and that is bloody marvellous. It is what creates desire, and the subsequent pleasure we get from this frivolous pastime. Why did you plan your last trip? Surely you were tempted? It is our daily bread. Revel in it. Be tempted.

Yes, be tempted.

To follow the gospel of classics first is perfect if that is what draws you most. Win. If the magnetism of an excellent route-to-be is stronger, then for heaven’s sake do it. If the unclimbed is clearly worthless junk, and yet you are still pulled its way in preference to known awesomeness; well you get points for being true to yourself but you may want to consult a psychologist. Next you will be trading experience for ego in a strange game of worse is better. It’s not illegal to be a crackpot, but I wouldn’t highlight on your CV.

On day three we did finally climb Icthyosaurus and it was grand. Fortuitously, our position bought a marvellously seductive arête, perched on the edge of the gendarme, into view. Later that day, this became Megalodon (24), and was probably the climbing highlight of the trip for me. Evidently, the explorer is always most happy exploring. That’s just how it is.

Icthyosaurus, at last some may say. Photo: Caro North.

The edge on the edge. If you listen carefully you will hear it call: "Climb me"

Quality Control 3: Megalodon.

To end, let’s be blunt. These ramblings about the merit of your climbing choices are blatantly superficial to what is most important. Getting out there and having a blast with wonderful folks is where it’s at. We have such amazing natural places. Enjoy them in whatever way makes you wanna shout: “Yeeeehhhhaaaaaa”.

Post-tempation celebration

Thanks to Malcolm, Amrei, Douw, Nadia, Caroline, Javier, Kike, Elsa, Bryant, Nikki, Eric, Wendy, Willem, Moritz for a trip of vast excellence.

And Douw, Nadia and Caro for the photos